As I was drifting into the dream world last night, I started thinking about dreams.  Not the crazy stuff you see when you're sleeping, but those goals, items, places that you dream about completing, having, or going to.  I remember growing up with very few dreams.  I didn't really know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go, but I knew that I had potential in me to go far.  It took meeting my wife to really understand what it was like to chase dreams.

It's interesting how the universe works.  Without going into debate material, it almost seems like when you get on the right track, everything going forward is smooth sailing.  Of course smooth is a relative term, it's not all unicorns and rainbows, there's challenges along the way that you have to deal with.  But the challenges are meant to prepare you for the future, and as you approach and defeat more challenges, the better off you'll end up.

There's a distinct difference between wild dreams and realistic dreams.  People can dream about being a big movie star, singer, pro baseball player, but the chances of actually being able to chase and be successful are slim.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't have these kinds of dreams, however it's going to be riddled with many more challenges than a more realistic dream.  I feel that realistic dreams are actually a series of smaller goals to achieve.

I've always worked backwards for goals, starting with the ending and working to fill in the gaps in order to reach the beginning.  It's always provided a precise pathway to achieving the end result.  Once it's outlined it's easier to come up with alternatives should anything go awry.

When I first met Karen, a change began to happen in me.  I saw a clearer future than I had ever seen before.  I got the confidence in my ability to act upon dreams.  I rose from my financial apocalypse and was able to focus on where we actually wanted to be.  It started moving into an apartment in Lexington then planning the interstate move to North Carolina.  I never thought I'd actually leave Lexington, it was never a possibility.  But I was able to realize there's more to the world.  My dream all along was to have a life of my own, one that I built, not one that was provided.  And as the time passes I've realized how I want my life to be constructed.  I'll keep chasing dreams, each one marking a new floor on the tower that I'm building.  Be it a new locale, a new business, or new carpet, I'll be able to say that this was my dream, one that I dreamed.

Entering my 28th year of life I can't help but reflect upon what's happened thus far and what's coming up.  I use birthdays as a milestone now, far from the parties and fanfare of (much) younger days. 

I've seen rock bottom. I've seen top of the tower.

I've been hurt. I've been loved.

I've seen places I never thought I would.  I've met people that others want to.

I've moved away from home.  I've moved back home.

I've lost family. I've gained family.

I fell in love. I fell out of love. I fell in love again with the right person.

I've pushed myself further than I ever imagined.

I've made plans. I've had plans ruined.

I've gotten an education. I've dropped out too.

I own my destiny now.

So many events happen throughout your life, if you don't take the time to remember, learn, and grow from them then you aren't really living.  I'm in a place now where I've taken everything that has happened in my life and used it to make me better.  It's ironic that my 10 year high school reunion is coming up, I'm sure 95% of those people wouldn't be able to peg the current me as the "then" me.  Even in that 10 years, I've found myself, who I really am and who I'm going to be.  I'm not the timid, out of place nerd anymore.  I'm a real person.  A person with dreams, a person with hope, a person that is striving every day to become better.

28 isn't that old (though I feel old).  My future is the brightest it's been, I can't wait to live it.  Thank you everyone in advance.

Over the last 12 hours my mind has been running non-stop.  Some of that time it was simply mindless running, nothing important.  However I did come to realize a few important personal things:

A younger me was okay with standard routine and drudging along as normal.  As I'm growing older, wiser, and more aware of the short time we have in our life, routines begin to bore me quicker and quicker.

I've been struggling with a life plan almost my entire professional life.  I didn't want to be a fireman or a dentist when I grew up, I had no idea (and still don't for that matter).  Having a plan however carries the risk of becoming routine, but only if you allow it to.

I keep thinking maybe one of these days a great idea will pop in my head and magically everything will be resolved.  I also keep thinking that's a crazy idea and I'm nuts for even thinking it.  It's this kind of internal conflict which causes so much trouble for me.

Positive but realistic attitude will get you where you need to go.

Life's direction is 98% in your control.

 That's about all I can say for now.